Bedroom Politics

“I’m not having sex with you if do……”
Does this conversation sound familiar? It’s usually followed that night by:
poke, poke
“Go away.”
poke, poke
“GO AWAY!”

If this sounds familiar, you’ve had the very common relationship spat and solution which is generally to withhold sex until the horny partner acquiesces. However, this form of bedroom politics is not very effective for a few reasons:

1. Eventually the once horny partner just doesn’t care anymore.

2. It leaves a bad feeling with both partners, the angry one and the horny one.

3. It gives an unfair feeling of superiority and control over one partner.

Bedroom politics is common, but it also causes a lot of bad feeling. So, when you have the inevitable fight that leads to the usual solution of sexual withholding, it’s time to try a new solution to the problem. Many experts and old wives, say that you should never go to bed angry and this is true to a point; you should always try to resolve your problems when they come up, but if you can’t, sleeping on them is a good way to clear the air. So, to avoid the Bedroom Politics, what should you do if not have sex?

HORNY PARTNER

Your partner is mad and hurt over the fight; that’s the first thing you should understand and therefore, your partner is likely not horny and thus is withholding sex not only to punish you, but also because he or she just isn’t in the mood. Understand that sex may not be the answer right now, no matter how horny combat made you! Instead, focus on giving your partner some space and letting him or her come to you. Yeah, it may be hard, but it’ll be worth when you two have excellent make-up sex after the apologies!

ANGRY PARTNER

Your partner is horny, possibly because the fight made him or her ready to go, or possibly because sex will make him or her feel better (or both). He or she isn’t being deliberately thoughtless; they are just coping the best way they know how. Instead of smacking that person, shoving them away or otherwise acting pissy, tell your partner, gently that you need some alone time and calm yourself down for a bit. You may well find that the fight was over something inconsequential and that apologizing and getting an apology in return will smooth over a lot of the problems.

BOTH PARTNERS

Kiss and make up! Apologize for the fight, snuggle for a while, and you’ll find that your libidos will start to match up again.

Bedroom politics are common, but that’s no reason to let them rule your love life!