The Trouble with Female Orgasms

Because we just don’t know why women have trouble getting an orgasm or female orgasm if you want to call it that way!
It’s true; up to 24% of women say that they have trouble climaxing or just don’t at all and these women, as well as their partners, would kill to know exactly why not. Unfortunately, there is no clear cut reason and that in itself is the problem.
We do know that hormone imbalances can cause part of the problem. Hormone imbalances can come about as a result of medication, birth control or even poor diet. It can also come about as a result of pregnancy and giving birth. And of course, the menstrual cycle throws hormones completely out of whack. There is a cycle of hormones that many women follow such as a testosterone surge during and just before a period, but many women don’t understand how this cycle affects their mood and how to predict them, so it gets very hard to manage a sex life that is satisfying for both partners consistently.
There are some more sinister reasons though and they lie both in psychology and in expectations. First of all, the psychology of sex for women has been damaged by the work of early psychologists such as Freud who claimed that female sexual organs themselves were only capable of producing second rate orgasms; that is to say, that clitoral orgasms were weaker versions of the vaginal orgasm. However, more women are stimulated by clitoral activities than by purely vaginal ones and furthermore, the best orgasms are wrought from a combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation! But because of the work of psychologists like Freud, many women felt and feel as though clitoral orgasms are the weaker of the two and so are looking for ways to make more explosive vaginal orgasms which leads us to the second reason why so many women feel as though they fail at having an orgasm: Expectations.
Thanks to a combination of popular media and psychology, many women have a skewed idea of what their orgasm should feel like and this leads to many women claiming that they have never had one when in fact they have. The fact is that women can experience orgasms in a number of ways; from the contractions and release of the uterus muscles and rectal muscles to ejaculation to rolling shivery feelings. However, women are conditioned to think that orgasms must be the kind that is explosive; it has to sweep women away and make them shiver and shake…! Unfortunately, this kind of orgasm is very rare and usually just the media glorified version. In truth, most women experience a wide range of feelings during sex, from none at all to the more explosive orgasms and furthermore this can change from partner to partner or even from session to session!
On top of this, women do not just experience a physical sensation of orgasm, but also emotional; or sometimes, just emotional. This makes it very hard to tack down what an orgasm was and what wasn’t for many women.
So what can we judge an orgasm by? Well, it will change from woman to woman, but there are some broad strokes to use:
· A physiological change, such as: engorgement and sensitivity in the clitoral area, tenderness in breasts, lubrication, and feelings of energy or satiation afterwards
· An emotional change; feelings of closeness and bonding to your partner afterwards, sated or energized, and general happiness or contentment.

But of course, each woman is going to experience their own version of an orgasm, so the best way to know if you’ve had one is to be aware of how your body will react. You can do this by masturbating regularly (hey, no one knows better than you what makes you feel good!) and by making sure to really feel what you feel after a good sex session and then see if you can repeat it.
The female orgasm need not be the holy grail of sex; it is attainable. But even if you do have trouble doing it consistently, you need not feel ashamed or somehow lessened by it; you are far from alone! There are many ways to help yourself to orgasm nowadays, ranging from simple communication with your partner, to the use of toys and herbal remedies. However, you also have to be aware of yourself and how you feel because you may well be orgasming without realizing it. The next time you have sex, be sure to study how you feel and really enjoy what makes you feel good. That’s the best way to figure out what will make you get some great orgasms.